In this article, I will exorcise my demons by detailing my top 5 mostannoyingRPG characters. It’s quite a personal list and I wouldn’t be at all surprise if a character on the list is your favourite. I’ll try to explain why they annoy me personally and hope I don’t offend anybody too much along the way.
5) Yuna, Final Fantasy X: Fancy going on a one-hundred hour long romantic adventure with your ex-girlfriend?
I’ll start with the most contentious and personal one: Yuna, fromFinal Fantasy X. Arguably she is the most unfair inclusion. The reason that she annoyed me so much was that when I started playingFinal Fantasy X, I had recently split up from a girlfriend who reminded me a lot of Yuna. She had the same mousy hair. She had the same mousy personality. My ex-girlfriend didn’t attempt to sacrifice herself for the greater good of society but I lived in hope that she might someday.
The reason that Yuna annoyed me so much was partly down to the illusion of choice. There were various points in the game where characters would ask me whether I liked Yuna. Wakka would say “She’s cute, ya?” and I’d tell him that no, she wasn’t my type. I’d also explain whenever given the opportunity that I preferred Lulu and Rikku. I’d hoped that like with Final Fantasy 7, I would have a choice of who I wanted to be romantically involved with. It seemed that this would be the case, otherwise why keep asking me whether or not I liked her?
Despite clearly saying that I didn’t, I was effectively subjected to an epic romance with my ex-girlfriend. Teaching my ex-girlfriend how to whistle. Enduring a cringe-worthy scene where my ex-girlfriend forces a laugh and tops it by saying “Too funny!”
After finishing the game, I felt a little confused. What was the point of all the questions about which lady I preferred? I checked online and it turned out that it has an impact on who throws the blitzball during Tidus’s Overdrive Blitz Ace. It also had a slight impact on who talks to you during cutscenes. Great.
InFinal Fantasy X-2/Charlie’s Angels: The RPG, Yuna returned with an almost completely different personality but was no less annoying. If anything, I think she was even more annoying in the sequel.
“I will share your pain with you!” - Yuna/my ex-girlfriend
4) Makoto, Enchanted Arms: Why does one of the first openly gay characters have to be such a camp stereotype?
I’ve nothing against including homosexual characters in RPGs at all. In fact, I applaud it. I enjoyed playing bothNights of AzureandNights of Azure 2. I’ve done the gay and lesbian romance storylines in most of theBioWareRPGs (admittedly, mostly for the Achievement Points). I even restartedMass Effect Andromedawhen I realised that Suvi was only interested in a romance with a female Ryder (not for the Achievement Points…I loved her accent and thought she was an interesting character). When I was in university, my girlfriend at the time was a member of the LGBT Club (not the Yuna one). I would sometimes accompany her to gay bars and nightclubs and it was usually fun.
What bugs me about Makoto is that he’s such a super camp stereotype. It’s like a bunch of writers who had never met a gay person in real-life watched one episode of Graham Norton and went “Yep, that’ll do.” There’s nothing interesting about Makoto’s personality or backstory. He’s just a badly written token gay character. “Hey, Makoto. Think you could help me with this cursed arm?” “I’m like, so gay!” “Have you got the time, Makoto?” “It’s like, time to be super gay!” “Makoto, can you show me the way?” “Did you say, you want a gay?!” It also didn’t help that the voice acting for the English version of Makoto was awful.
It’s great to include a diverse cast of characters with different sexualities. Please ensure that you do give characters a good personality and that they have a purpose for the story other than ticking a box.
3) Lymle, Star Ocean: The Last Hope
It was hard to pick just one annoying character from Star Ocean: The Last Hope. There were a lot of them who were irritating. Part of the problem was the terrible voice acting. Lymle is an annoying child who has a habit of finishing sentences with “‘kay”. No, I’m not okay. Where are your parents and why aren’t you in school?! What - you lost your parents at a young age due to a typically tragic RPG backstory? Yikes…now I feel awkward.
2) Emil, Tales of Symphonia 2: Possibly the wimpiest RPG protagonist ever.
I lovedTales of Symphonia. Unfortunately I foundTales of Symphonia 2to be a massive disappointment and Emil was partly why. A whining wimp who just wanted the adventure to stop is far from my ideal RPG lead. In battle, he only becomes powerful due to making a pact with the Lord of Monsters. Outside of battle, he’s still his same annoying self.
1) Marumaro, Blue Dragon: Annoying in any language.
Oh, Marumaro. He is the only character on this list who annoyed me so much that I never finished the game he was in. Perhaps I will someday but if so, I will probably turn the sound off. He looked pretty bad (short, yellow, badly dressed and pointy ears) but that wasn’t the real killer. It was his voice which made him so annoying for me. Marumaro doesn’t talk. He yells every line in a high-pitched, squeaky voice.
I tried to playBlue Dragonin other languages in the hope that his voice would be less annoying but alas, it wasn’t. I kept hoping that Marumaro would be killed off or that there would be the option to permanently leave him behind. Am I missing a real treat withBlue Dragon? I loved Lost Odyssey, the old Final Fantasy games and wanted to loveBlue Dragon. I just couldn’t…because of him. Is it worthwhile buying a copy of it and giving it - and Marumaro - another chance? If so, please do comment below and let me know.
Honourable mention: Roman Bellic, Grand Theft Auto IV
Technically he can’t be in my top 5 because he’s from an action-adventure rather than an RPG. He’s so annoying that he deserves an honourable (dishonourable?) mention.
No, I don’t want to go bowling with you. I don’t want to go to lunch with you. And no, I don’t want to go and play darts. I’m in a gunfight. I’m fighting for my life. Now is not a good time! Do you want to come and help me? No, you’d sooner just sulk? Okay then…
Which RPG characters annoyed you the most?
If you liked this article then you may also be interesting in checking outThis Game is Terrible: Tales of Symphonia 2&Virtues Other RPGs can learn from Divinity: Original Sin 2.
